She’s given you the once over the moment you stepped in the room.
She socializes and connects with everyone else, yet you seem invisible.
She’s unnecessarily aggressive and has a retort for every opinion that comes out of your mouth.
As women we’ve all experienced this type of treatment from other women at some point in time. Oddly enough, this type of behaviour sometimes comes our way from women we’ve never met, spoken to or seen before- leaving us exasperated and exclaiming “Now I see why some women say they can’t have female friends!”
One of the dark sides of our womanhood is the way that we allow our insecurities and jealousy to run rampant under the surface of our “sisterhood.” Even in our so called “empowerment circles”, where we’re supposed to celebrate our feminine bond, the mean girl syndrome can rear it’s ugly head. Sister’s let’s own it; we are very competitive with each other! And this competition takes on a unique flavor and expression for us as women, one that is hard to talk about especially with our male counterparts who never seem to notice the shade.
So how did I learn to deal with shady women?
I grew a pair and came to grips with the fact that you can’t please everyone and you certainly can’t be a critical thinking and opinionated woman and expect everyone to love you. Understand that there are people in this world that will always find fault with you no matter what you do and some of them actually find comfort in putting others down.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made! Psalm 139:14. If you’re a believer like myself then you know that God loves you with an unconditional and everlasting love that can’t be matched by any human on Earth. You are truly fearfully and wonderfully made in His eyes, therefore the thoughts, opinions or lack of support from others is simply irrelevant. God got me, so I’m gon’ be alright!
Focused my energy in a positive direction and ignored those who were desperately trying to infiltrate my mind. The truth is, when you worry about what others say you are wasting precious time and worse- you’re letting them win. Immerse yourself in not only loving yourself, but loving those that love you and most importantly fulfilling your purpose here on Earth.
Reach out! Yeah I said it. When we humble ourselves it is truly a rewarding experience. Reach out to your distractors and try to work out a common ground. If you can’t change the situation at least you can feel good about yourself for being the bigger person.
Ladies I leave you with this quote by Paul Newman, “If you don’t have enemies, you don’t have character”. Quit being a “yes man”/ (in this case yes woman) people pleaser and continue to voice your opinion and present yourself in all your shining glory because the truth is some issues are more about others than about you, so keep your head high and your eyes focused on the prize.
Happy Wednesday to all my empowered boss ladies.- Saki xoxo